Submissive’s Contract to Dominant

Below the tough exterior of this business woman and mother is your timid, soft and vulnerable submissive wife. I want to be wrapped in your dominant strong arms, protected and wanted. I need to hear how you will dominate my body for your pleasure. I want to see the smile that spreads across your face when you spread my submissive legs. I need to feel your hand as it travels down my shirt and underneath my lacy bra. This gives me pleasure to see you have pleasure. These are my promises.

I am your partner in life and your slut in private. From this day forward you are my sexually dominant man and I am your sensuous submissive woman. I hand over all my sexual inhibitions and allow you to destroy them time after time. I will do this all while relishing in the pleasure this BDSM lifestyle brings you and I.

• You may create a sensual and controlled world in which I will be your muse and toy.
• You may dress me up as your sexy secretary or dress me down as your personal prostitute. What I wear in the bedroom is your choice.
• I will participate in any fantasy you wish and will play my role to give you the desires and satisfaction you need.
• I will wear lace and thong underwear at all times and only wear the cotton “granny panties” when necessary.
• I will wear lace and sexy cleavage bras because I know these excite you.
• My breasts are for your enjoyment, whether you rub them, pinch them or pull them.
• I will wear non-piercing nipple rings and clamps when you ask, because these give us both such pleasure.
• I will keep myself shaved so you may enjoy a full view whenever you please.
• I will wear the clit jewelry you select whether it be the pearl thong or the clit clip.
• I will not climax until you allow me and I will not seek pleasure when you forbid it.
• I will not masturbate unless you give me permission.
• You may collar me and treat me as your sex slave.
• You may take me any way you wish and I will submit to your desires in all manner and not deny your request.
• You can bring any sex toy or enhancement into our sex play and I will comply.
• I will try to act out at times and will forget my place on occasion. When that occurs you can restrain me and make me wait for your commands.
• You may try any manner of spanking or whipping I do not want to be in great pain, but I wish to hurt and seek pleasure in being at your command.

I do these things to bring you pleasure and to show my love and trust. These things I promise as your sensuous submissive.

Tara

Needed: One Glossary of BDSM Terms

Discovering my hidden sexually submissive desire has resulted in hours of online research and yes, at times complete confusion. I opened my mind and while I found many useful sites, I also discovered some fetishes I don’t think I would ever try. Truly I am open-minded sexually and live by the belief that as long as you are consensual adults in your games, I have no problem with your choices. But I have to admit that running through the world of online fetish sites, sex toys, fetish sex forums, edge porn and all that entails, has really sent me to the prude corner.

OMG… what you can find! So to help you navigate away from, or to if you are interested, here is some terminology I learned while researching Dominant/submissive lifestyles. Now this really is just a small list of getting started terminology and really could go into much more kinky fetishes. You could even consider this the Vanilla Glossary of BDSM.

BDSM – this is the umbrella term that covers many different lifestyle choices. BDSM relationships come in many different varieties and degrees of domination/submission.

Dom – is the short term for the dominant. People that are doms are also called, top, sir, master, daddy, HOH… the list goes on.

Sub – is the submissive in a D/s relationship. Other terms are bottom, cunt, slut, whore, princess, bitch, you get the picture.

Domination/submission – the lifestyle in which partners determine that one person is the dominant most notably in the sexual aspect or their relationship.  The other partner submits to dom’s sexual desires and/or decisions, etc. This as you can guess comes in many forms and usually includes collars and leashes, whips/canes and discipline. The submissive must comply with all requests or be disciplined.

Master/slave – this moves into some of the more extreme in the BBDSM lifestyle. The Master/slave relationship is just as you would imagine and the master can either be a man or a woman. The dom requires complete mind, body and soul submission from the sub. The dom typically uses pain to control their slave.

Fslaves – are Full time Slaves to their master and live the M/s lifestyle 24/7.

Sensual Domination – this could also be referred to as lite BDSM. In other words the participants aren’t really interested in the masochism (M) part of the equation. A bit of role-playing with ropes and ties is cool with this crowd. They might even get into some nipple clamps and such

HOH (Head of Household) – this is usually the man in the GDD lifestyle. He/she is the dominant in all decisions and sexual encounters. Don’t cross the HOH!

Role playing – okay this is pretty obvious, but some may not know. In role play the partners play out characters or scenes during sexual play. Popular games are Dad/daughter, Teacher/student, Pimp/prostitute. Note* the first character is a capital letter and the second is always lower case – unless you have a wimpy dom and then you have insulted them with d/S… hee hee.

Emotional Play – this is humiliating or shaming the submissive during role-play. It can involve making the sub act like a dog, or making them beg, etc.  It’s a lot like working for an evil employer.

Breast bondage – if you enjoy a little bondage with your nipple clamps this is probably for you.  The sub has their breast either squeezed to their chest or protruding out and bulging. Nipples are usually clamped to ropes, or chains and pulled. UGGGHHH… sort of reminds me of breast feeding my children.

Collared – this is like the engagement or marriage of a dom and sub. This means you are in a committed relationship with your partner. I think I would still prefer the rock.

There is more to come… I assure you! Happy sex surfing.

Learning to be a Submissive Wife

Okay there are one of two reactions people have when they hear someone say they are a submissive wife. First: Are you out of your mind? How could you let some man tell you what to do all the time and then do it? Second: You mean as in BDSM and all that kinky spanking and handcuffing? That is just way too kinky for me.

So how about a new third version? How about — Wow, that sounds different. How does that work and do you enjoy being a bedroom submissive? And that is where Roadie and I are in our exploration of him taking the Dominant role and me the submissive in the bedroom. You see, after 25+ years of marriage, he is comfortable with my strong will and need to control. For years due to his life in music and theater tours, I had to take control of everything. So when it came to the bedroom, we naturally more or less shared control.

That is until one day I opened my mind and started pondering all my deep, hidden fantasies and my unspoken truths. It is here that I began to understand my desire to become a submissive wife in the bedroom. Here’s a secret for the men: Most women won’t admit this, but one of the top fantasies of women is to have their partners take control of them sexually. We want our husbands/lovers to desire us at all times and to take advantage when they choose. We don’t want to control what happens all the time and most of all, we don’t want the role-playing and games to be all our doing. We want our men to be strong.

So, as I mentioned in my first post about this new submissive discovery, Roadie and I are just learning how to be Dominant/submissive (D/s). We finished reading the book: The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren. Which has some great insights into the traditional and not so traditional ways to be a D/s couple. They offer great suggestions on contracts, role playing and discovery.

Yet, what we are discovering is that this is much harder than you would think. Surprisingly, Roadie is having trouble understanding that it is okay to push me in a corner and tear my panties, or demand that I service him. While I am also having trouble not scoffing at his demands and making excuses. D/s is a harder dance than you would think.

So we are starting over and taking one of the first steps from The Loving Dominant book to schedule the first of our discovery sessions. This is were Roadie will take me into the bedroom and blind fold me, perhaps tie me too. Then while he is playing and manipulating with me, I have to tell him my deepest darkest sexual fantasies. I get wet just thinking about it and I hope Roadie discovers and controls the submissive wife that is just waiting for him to take her.